Writing 101 – The 3 Most Important Songs in my Life.

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musicloversAgain here’s the challenge for you to look at and below is my submission. This is part of a challenge to get you to develop an every day writing habit but the task was set to talk about the 3 most important songs in my life.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-101-writing-practice/

Oooft, I’m sounding like a broken record (no pun intended) because again this is a really hard task for me. Music plays an essential part of my life. Obviously I could live without it if we’re speaking literally, but I would live without an enormous chunk that gives me an exceptional amount of ‘quality of life’. So to pick 3 is very difficult. My music taste is very eclectic – in my collection I have obvious greats like The Beatles, Pixies and Led Zeppelin, mixed in with heavy rock and metal like Rammstein, Incubus, and Metallica. I then have Spice Girls, Miles Davis, Amy Winehouse, Florence and The Machine, mixed with funky house songs, classical albums and Pacha mixes. I basically love all music that’s quality – and I’m not someone who believes only one genre is quality music. I love more than anything to be introduced to new music, one of my all time favourite memories is being played Jeff Buckley’s Lilac Wine for the 1st time. This song hasn’t made the list today but it would be on the list if I could talk about more than 3 songs. I can’t guarantee these 3 wouldn’t be different choices on a different day, and ideally I’d like more time to think about it but this is what I’d choose today….

I often have those conversations with friends where people ask me things like ‘if you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life what song would it be?’. So I’ve had a lot of time to think about this question. If I was genuinely restricted to just one song for the rest of my life then I’d have to be clever about it. You wouldn’t listen to the song every day or even every month – because you wouldn’t want to run the risk of starting to hate the only song you can listen to forevermore. So it would be a song you would pull out and listen to in times of great need – maybe only once or twice a year. So I wanted a rousing inspirational song, that’s quite long, with fabulous instrumentals and at its core is happy and positive. Something that makes you smile – because those points you reach for it would no doubt be points when that’s exactly what you need. You won’t need a song to wallow in if you can only ever listen to one song, you want a song to rejoice in, and to lay back and be reminded how good life is. So with all this in mind I would choose Mr Blue Sky by ELO (Electric Light Orchestra). This is the only song that for me fits all of that and more. This would be the song to get me through life in times of great need. I’d be devastated to see all the other songs go, to never listen to my other 3 choices again but I think this will be the one I need to have in my life in the absence of all other songs.

The next song is Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine. I’m not sure why I’ve picked this over all the other songs in the world. It kind of encapsulates a lot of my beliefs and philosophies. It brings in aspects of love and cosmology and it hits me like a wave whenever I listen to it, especially on headphones. I get swept away and wrapped up in its notes and melodies and Florence’s voice is just overwhelmingly beautiful and powerful. In my opinion Florence and The Machine came about at a point when I heard so many (usually older) people moan on about how music isn’t made like it used to be and all those other tired whinges that people have. Now, I’m a massive fan of the greats (Queen, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin etc.) But usually those people who moan have actually stopped listening to any new music and so aren’t exactly informed to make that judgement. Granted there’s a lot of crap out there, a lot of manufactured nonsense by people with little or no skill, but that has always been the case. After The Beatles there was a huge influx of created bands that record companies shoved out to the masses in the hope of making a few pounds by riding the coattails of the greats. To think things are any worse now is daft, and it’s an enormous insult to all the amazing ‘real’ bands and musicians that are out there creating some great music. So Florence just came along and in my opinion proved me right and proved all the negative whingers wrong.

My next choice is a bit of an emotional one for me. Growing up, my Dad was very formal, very quiet and not really one for emotional displays of any kind either physical or verbal. But when I was about 8 he gave me a cassette tape of a band he really liked and he thought I’d like it too. He so rarely shared anything of himself with us that this was an unbelievably special thing for me. I played that tape over and over. In reality it probably didn’t mean that much to him, it was maybe just one of those things he found and decided he didn’t want to listen to anymore and he gave it to me instead of throwing it away. I don’t know, but I attached an awful lot of emotion to this cassette tape. Maybe that’s what made me attach a lot of emotion to music in general for the rest of my life to date… Anyway, the next song is Eternal Flame by The Bangles. It’s probably a bit cheesy now but I still love it and it will always remind me of my Dad who died far too suddenly and far too young a few years ago. Listening to it will immediately cause that uncomfortable prickling and tightening of my throat that happens just before I cry. Luckily it’s not often played on the radio anymore, as I’d be a walking emotional wreck.

I could carry on and write about at least another 20 songs that are of huge importance in my life either past or present – but maybe that’s for another time. I’ve really enjoyed writing this and listening to these songs, it’s actually been an emotional one for me! I hope you enjoy them even half as much as I do.

Writing 101 – A Room With a View (or Just a View)

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For a quick explanation – here’s the writing 101 task I was set today and below is my submission: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-101-setting/

I’m 8 years old and after a year long specialised project (infiltrating all the different subjects) at school, I find myself completely and utterly engrossed/obsessed with all things related to the Amazon rainforest. I write an extremely long fictionalised story about a girl and her family, which is partly inspired by a school play we did about the Yanomamo. This year when I was 8 has given me an endless love of the Amazon and insatiable need to go there.

So this is where I’m transported to, although it’s the view I have of the Amazon as an extremely imaginative child. It’s probably melded with films and cartoons from around that time too, so ‘Ferngully – The Last Rainforest’ has undoubtedly had an influence on how I imagined the Amazon to be in my story. As I close my eyes and picture the scene, I’m engulfed with the smells and aromas. A fresh grass type smell mixed with the heady scent of exotic and unknown flowers. My Amazon is a naïve place; filled with the wonderment only a child can create. It has dazzling blue rivers that don’t actually exist in reality, at these rivers young children fish with spears taught by their elders. There are trees too tall to see the tops, trees that are alive and view the world from their lofty heights. No doubt looking on with derision and disgust – I think the poisonous tree featured in Ferngully is a metaphor for the havoc we wreak on all of nature that surrounds us. On a side note, I know everyone said the film Avatar was a parody of the story of Pocahontas but more accurately it was a total rip off of Ferngully!

The forest in my child mind is akin to the forests and woods from the Enid Blyton books ‘The Enchanted Wood” – they have mysterious lands at their invisible tops that transport you to either excitement or danger. I think this is how I pictured the Amazon, although I mixed it in with all the things I’d seen and read in books. Somehow creating a magical place of unbelievable depths that may or may not come close to the reality. My cynical adult mind tells me that the place I created could never be matched up by reality, but then the adventurous child that still lives within tells me that there is nothing more beautiful, amazing and wondrous than what is already here on Earth.

Back in the Amazon…. I’m hit by the freshness that’s juxtaposed with intense humidity creating an environment that is heavy and at the same time light enough to bear. It’s hot and damp but not to the point you couldn’t acclimatise to it. The rain provides relief in the day and the cover of trees can be so thick it becomes dark, cold and occasionally frightening. If alone in the rainforest it’s not long before your mind and consciousness start to become one with the living being that is the Amazon. I see the Amazon as one giant living, breathing entity. It’s not a series of parts and should only be view as a whole. Once you’re in the thick of it you also become part of that entity. It’s your life force, oxygen, food, shelter, and comfort. But it’s also the source of danger, death and destruction. Although all of our environments are like this, I imagine that none more so than the rainforest. Nothing could make you so aware you are directly dependent on it than the forest, or so aware it can take it away in a second. The idealistic part of me would like to think that in response to this humans learn to live alongside the forest and also alongside one another – as it is only with co-operation and compassion we can thrive in such an environment. The humans in my story co-existed with strength and unity – I suspect that those living in the Amazon also would too if only they weren’t pressured with the evils that the rest of the world forces on them. Cocaine production, destruction of the forest, total environmental rape for resources and medicinal goods is what makes the fractions rise up and pit themselves against one another. Without all that, I have a feeling life would be more similar to the life my 8 year old self created.

When I visit Manaus with my little monkey in a couple of years time as part of our RTW trip, I can only hope it matches up even 5% to the world I have imagined. I will only be touching the tip of it too, as with a 4 year old I will have to adjust how much we explore and what we are able to do. There is nowhere else on earth though that I want to see and explore more than the Amazon and it all stems from that year long project at school. When I’m older I would love to do a proper lengthier trek, but until then a tourist trip to Manaus will definitely keep me happy. As with any child memory or imagining of a place my thoughts and feelings of the Amazon are slightly fractured, incomplete, as if my naïve mind couldn’t fully comprehend the shear size and scale of the forest. I am looking forward to completing my imagination and having some solid memories to hold onto for the rest of my life.

Travel Tip Tuesday: Travel Blogs to Check Out for Inspiration

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backpacksandbabygrows:

Travel blogs to take a wee look at if you have time:

Originally posted on Samantha En Route:

These are a few of my favorite travel blogs, ones that I always look to for inspiration and wanderlust ideas! They’ve all got such wonderful content that makes me feel so inadequate and inexperienced in comparison. Check them out and add some more in the comment section! I’m always looking for more.

Adventurous Kate

Besu Desu Abroad

Never Ending Footsteps

Candice Does the World

It Started in Asia

Girl vs. Globe

Eff It, I’m On Holiday

India Untravelled

World Wide Vegetarian

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Writing 101 – Unlock the Mind: Stream Of Consciousness

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streamMy first writing 101 task! I’m actually quite intimidated by this first one; I was expecting to be drawn in gradually and given an easy ride and instead I’m meant to just write about whatever pops into my head for the next 20 minutes. Although I expect the fact I’m intimidated by this says more about me than I would like. Back when I was a child I struggled with the concept of a private mind. It took me a long time to realise that people couldn’t hear my thoughts – which meant that I didn’t often speak up when I had something to say and also didn’t understand that my private inner self was just that – private. This probably made me quite a strange kid to be around which was no doubt part of why I ended up being a bit of a loner who always had their head in a book. Books were definitely my friends (they still are); I longed to live in the world of Enid Blyton adventures where everything was just peachy (life was an endless stream of babbling brooks and ginger beer). But instead I had to make do with what I had and for a very long time I was an unhappy child with a severe tendency to be a complete fantasist.

But every cloud and all that, as an adult I’m incredibly grateful that books are a source of comfort and also some escapism from the stresses of adult life. My imagination is vivid and imagistic so I only have to open the pages of a well-written book and I’m plunged into whatever world awaits me. If it’s a very good book I get that sadness that comes with finishing it. If it’s not a series you know your time with those characters and worlds is over. I’m not one to re-read books either, not unless it’s been years and years since I read it. I also feel like there’s just so many books to read in the world and not enough time in our short human lives; so I don’t want to waste any of it re-reading the stuff I’ve already experienced.

I rehearsed this post several times over in my head because I was worried about writing it; then I realised that was kind of missing the point! I’m glad I realised that, as the last 2 paragraphs never came up in my ‘rehearsal writes’. I’m sat at my computer covered in a facemask trying to give my self an hour or 2 of pampering before I head of to collect my little girl from nursery. I went to my kettlebell class earlier and just after realised I was actually not feeling that great. Nothing specific, just a bit blurgh. So I’m doing what I haven’t done in a long long time – spoiling myself. My uni finance came through today and it’s been a big relief as I’ve been living as frugally as possible recently, which has the result of sucking all the joy out of life. I don’t need a lot of money but I do need some! Anyway, I decided to go and by some things I’ve been wanting for my skin. Since having a baby it seems as though my hormones are waging war against my face for most of the time. I used to have very oily, and acne prone skin growing up. The acne cleared up with a 3-month dose of roaccutane but the oily skin remained. I’ve got used to this and actually oily skin has its benefits as it stays wrinkle free for longer and if you manage it well will look younger generally too. But in the last 5 years or so and more since the birth of monkey my skin has gone horribly dry. Not all over, but in patches. I now can’t use proper foundation but have to use a tinted moisturiser – but not all of them are OK, some still cause even more dry patches. I have to use an alchemists variety of moisturisers throughout the day and night just to keep things calm. I have a great oat based moisturiser from Neal’s Yard that works wonders at night but it’s expensive and also a bit heavy in the day. So I use a Lush moisturiser called skin drink in the day under my make up… but by 4pm my skin is itchy and dry and I need to take all that off and I’ve now started to apply a comfrey essential oil based ointment.

I probably sound completely mad about now, right? Well you’re justified in thinking that I guess. Since my skin has started playing up It’s made me realised how such supposedly tiny things can really have a massive effect on how we feel each day. And also have an effect on how we view ourselves and how we think others view us. I suspect (or know) that I’m a little bit vain! But I don’t think that’s a bad thing if by vain you mean someone who feels better when they know they look their best. I do know that all this stems from being an awkward little ugly duckling as a child and an awkward acne ridden gawky teenager. At some point around the age of 17 or 18 I really blossomed and came into myself. I’m now an elegant (occasionally) attractive woman – but inside I’m still that wee ugly duckling. So anything that makes me feel awkward and ugly really has a bigger effect than it should do. When I meet people who knew me as a child or a teenager they tend to make things worse with very well meaning albeit back handed compliments. I remember bumping into an old primary school teacher once, and the first thing she did was exclaim loudly that she ‘always thought my sister would be the pretty one’. Now what she was actually saying was that I was looking very nice that day – what she actually did was basically remind me that I was a very awkward child who everyone just assumed would turn into a very awkward adult…..

I’m up to my 20 minutes now. I’m not sure if this is what you had in mind WordPress but that was my stream of consciousness for you. In about 45 minutes I’m hoping to step outside my front door as the confident woman I am, who couldn’t care less what she looks like or what everyone thinks of what she looks like – but deep down I really am just a 13 year old who desperately needs that affirmation and approval from everyone else and dry skin just doesn’t hep matters! :)

Filmed/Reviewed – The Big Year

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I decided I’d try and branch out a bit and do some film and book reviews on this blog. Films, books, and TV actually make up a big chunk of my life. I passionately consume all kinds of books, films, TV programs and anything else vaguely related and have done since I was a kid. I think books in particular used to offer me a kind of escapism you can’t get anywhere else. I’d open a book and plunge straight into a world that most of the time I’d much rather be a part of than what was the reality of my own life. I’ve nerdily written lists of all the films and books I’ve read and watched since I was about 7 years old too. I still have the old notebooks I used to do this in but now I use a more technological platform and do this online. It’s mostly about keeping track of what I watch and read as I’m generally liable to forget. When I was little I used to read all those long series like Sweet Valley Twins and the Nancy Drew Mysteries and all the Enid Blyton books; I’d write them down so I didn’t lose track of what I’d read and what I still needed to read. I guess old habits die hard and I still do this to this day.

I’ll try and keep my reviews at least vaguely travel related or maybe those things that have inspired me indirectly in my bid to travel. I’ll also admit something that maybe I shouldn’t admit straight away… I’m not a massive film critic! By that I mean I tend to look for the good in something, and I’m happy to just enjoy it for what it was rather than try and rip it apart for no reason. So you might find that my film reviews in particular are all very ‘nice’ – but at least there’s some positivity in that!

I’m not sure why I’ve chosen The Big Year as my 1st film review – it’s not my favourite film by a long way (I’m not even sure I can pick a favourite as I’m always very indecisive when it comes to that question). But it surprised me and I like stuff that surprises me. I went on a date to see another film at the cinema (I can’t remember what now) and it was sold out, so The Big Year happened to be the next film playing. We weren’t sure what it was about but it looked fun and my date was a big Steve Martin fan and I like Jack Black and Owen Wilson so we decided to chance it. The tagline from IMDB is that “two bird enthusiasts try to defeat the cocky, cutthroat world record holder in a year-long bird-spotting competition”. And that basically sums it up. The travel influence comes in because they of course travel all round the US trying to spot all the birds they need, so you get some fabulous locations and wildlife shots. The writing and script is funny and the delivery is given by some real comedy heavy weights. I love films that teach me something and I think the thing I like the most about this film was that I had no idea ‘the big year’ was even a thing (it really is an actual thing people do) – I’m fascinated when I find out about these underground ‘scenes’ that clearly absorb other people’s entire lives or at least part of their lives and I know nothing about them. It almost made me want to sign up to do a big year it was so infectious.

I definitely have that ‘collector’ personality (my love of Pokemon comes to mind) and I think the film and the general idea appeals to this aspect of my personality. But as well as that it’s just a really funny but honest film about these 3 guys and how their love of bird watching and their obsession with ‘The Big Year’ effects their lives, their relationships, their jobs and everything else. Jack Black’s character has the disapproving Dad who thinks he’s wasting his life, Steve Martin is the workaholic whose wife finally convinces him to follow his passion and Owen Wilson is the cocky record holder whose marriage is suffering due to his obsession. I guess it’s kind of predictable but you don’t notice that in amongst the writing and the acting as it’s all just great quality. It comes across as heartfelt and emotional, I really became invested in their lives and wanted them all to succeed in life and in birds (the same thing for these guys I guess). I then looked into it all and discovered the big year is an actual thing and I became even more fascinated with the whole concept. I guess I’m just a sucker when anyone has a passion and truly chases it.

Anyway, the film surprised me and I reckon a lot of people won’t have watched it because they’ll assume it’s not really their kind of film due to the subject. I can’t stress enough that that’s a mistake. If you have a spare night and you fancy curling up and watching something that isn’t too serious but is still good quality then I reckon this is worth a shot. I loved it – maybe that’s because my expectations were so low but I’d be wiling to bet there’s a wee bit more to it than that.

Theoretically Driving

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road-traffic-signs

 

Last Thursday I passed my driving theory test. Those of you residing in the UK will know that this is the 1st major hurdle to actually gaining a full UK driving licence. Once this is done you’re kind of home and dry in regards to getting your proper test booked and getting the pass certificate. Of course you need to learn to drive but hopefully you’ll have already been doing this.

I thought I’d do a little post on my hints and tips for getting this one under your belt. Everyone who has passed it will tell you how easy it is, but actually quite a few fail it (and not just once)! I think the test is relatively easy, but only if you do some work and practice the hazard perception section online. The best advice that I received was to NOT rely simply on the mock tests that are available all over the place and the apps for smart phones. I think this definitely stands as helpful advice. I had access to an online learning tool via my instructor, this had practice questions from all the sections, it had mock test, highway code practice and hazard perception videos. I found the only really useful thing was the mock test bit, but only after I had bought the proper DVLA book and worked my through all the multiple choice questions. This is an absolute must. The book seems really thick which is a bit off putting, but in reality I was able to work through the 15 sections in a week. It has all the multiple choice questions in it and the answers are at the back. there are also clues next to each of the questions. I basically went through this with a pencil and did all the questions whilst checking the answers in the back. I’ve got a pretty good memory so I went through it once and then did a load of mock tests. I was passing all the mock tests with between 48 and 50 out of 50. The pass mark is 43 so I was pretty happy that I was up to standard. 

If you struggle with memory tasks I would give yourself a month instead of a week and go through the book a few times. I good way to look at the test is that about 70% of the questions are genuinely common sense knowledge and about 30% are questions that you either know the answer or you don’t. Once you’ve identified this 30%, you can focus your memorising energy here. When I say common sense it really is questions like: “If you are at a crossing and an elderly person is taking more time to cross the road, should you – a) rev your engine and press you horn, b) speed round them whilst gesturing or c) wait patiently for them to cross the road. 

Doing the mock tests will identify any problem sections you have and allow you to focus for longer on these if you need to. The really annoying part of the test is the hazard perception section. This test is really not  a test of anything except your ability to pass this test. However, you do need to pass it and it’s worth practicing. I found the AA driving school online practice was the best quality videos and also the closest match to the real thing. You can find that here: http://www.theaa.com/aattitude/games/hpt.jsp

The instructions (even on the practice tests are ambiguous). It tells you to click every single time you see a potential hazard (parked cars, pedestrians etc) but that it will only mark you for one major hazard that develops fully in each video apart from one video where there will be 2 hazards. The crunch is that if you click too much it will tell you that you did the test inappropriately for that video and you will get nothing. There are 15 videos and they are marked out of 5 each. The hazard that you are being marked on is always obvious; something like a horse rider you have to pass, a car on a narrow bridge or kids playing on the road or a cyclist that rides in front of you. You are given a 5 second window in which to click the mouse and register that you have seen the hazard. If you click at the start of this window you get the full 5 marks and lose a mark for every second that passes. What I found really silly and frustrating was that I realised on the practice tests that I was seeing the hazard sooner than they wanted me to, so I’d click but it would be 1 or 2 seconds too soon and I would receive no marks as it would tell me I had missed the hazard when I knew full well I hadn’t. So I developed a technique where whenever I saw a hazard I would click the mouse about 3 or 4 times in a row – guessing that at least one of the clicks would register in the window they wanted you to click in. I also didn’t click on the smaller potential hazards so as not to risk ‘clicking inappropriately’ and getting zero marks. There is a potential 75 marks up for grabs. I passed with 60 so got an average of 4 per video so I think my technique worked well. But it’s stupid in my opinion and is nothing other than a test of how to pass their test. It has given me no knowledge on how to avoid hazards on the road, as obviously learning to drive means you already know that a horse rider is a hazard and you must drive slowly, or that an old lady crossing the road means you need to slow down and allow her to pass. The whole thing is a ridiculous palaver.

The actual theory test is useful though, and it has also improved my driving. Particularly the road sign knowledge and vehicle safety etc. I wish I’d sat the test sooner in the course of my lessons as it has been useful. So my advice would be to book it within a month of your first lesson. I passed with 48/50 and I would say I did minimal but enough revision for my own learning and memory style. Being at university and studying for exams means I have good knowledge of my own learning style and how quickly I pick up new information. If you struggle to retain this kind of thing, as I said, I give yourself a full month to revise. I gave myself a full week, working every night through the book and doing mock tests. 

My driving instructor has told me I’m ready to put in for my test now – it takes about 6-8 weeks to get a test here so she means that in the period of time I’ll have ironed out all of the little glitches I need to in order to pass. I”m confidant on the roads now and it really i just a case of practising. A lot of it is getting to know the junctions and area the test is done in, as a lack of local knowledge can really throw you when it comes to getting in the right lane at a busy junction or similar situations to this. My opinion is that gaining a 1st time pass will depend on nerves as if they get the better of you then you’ll make silly mistakes you wouldn’t do normally. It also has a bit to do with luck on the day though, I’ve had a stupid lorry driver pull out on me really fast whilst trying to join the expressway – what this meant was I didn’t have the time to join the carriageway and had to slow down before getting over and this held up the traffic behind me. I’d have failed if this was my test day, but really it’s was just bad luck. In real life there would have been no harm done but my instructor said in a test situation they would have expected me to have built up enough speed to get out in front of him. I just didn’t have the guts to do the manoeuvre due to lack of experience. So if you see a learner driver and they’re annoying you or making you impatient just please remember that they could be taking their test, and you pulling out in front of them or beeping and gesturing at them when they stall or cutting them up could actually jar their nerves enough that they fail their test. We’re annoying us learners, I know that, especially if you’re in a rush – but you’ve all been there and it’s worth remembering how nervous you felt when you did it. It might give you the patience you need to just let us get on with it, as really it’s only going to take a few extra minutes out of your day. :) 

Anyway, I’m very much looking forward to finally being a driver, life will be so much easier, especially with a child , to just load up the car and go off for day trips around the UK. I can’t wait, so watch this space and hopefully there’ll be another post soon telling you I’ve completed the proper test and passed it!!

What the best education systems are doing right

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backpacksandbabygrows:

This is a really interesting article below. I think it just compounds even more my thoughts that when it comes to academic success there are many many different and successful ways to achieve it. However when it comes to the flourishing and happiness of the child, and the creation of stable identity and personhood there are different ways of doing this that are better or worse depending on your perspective.

In the UK we recently had a program on TV that’s now on every year called ‘Child Genius’. In this show, extremely intelligent children with very high IQs compete with each other in a variety of ways to win the crown of ‘child genius of the year’. Their feats of neurological prowess are breathtaking (and have the tendency to make me feel a little inadequate to say the least)! This year the 2 final children provided an interesting means for an analysis. Sharon and Tudor (a wee girl and boy) were the last 2 children standing – they had both displayed incredible amounts of intelligence and skills such as memory, critical thinking and general knowledge. However the style of these 2 children’s parents couldn’t have been more different. Sharon’s parents took a very backseat role on her insistence. She said that she wanted to do all the work herself, her parents are both doctors and she purposefully chose topics that were outside of their realm of expertise. Showing insight well beyond her years she said that she didn’t want any help because it meant that if she failed she would only have herself to blame, but equally if she succeeded she would know she had done all the work so the victory would entirely be hers. Sharon’s parents encouraged her no matter what, told her how well she had done regardless of any small failures or slips and generally were a relaxed totem of support for her in the background.

Tudor’s parents were incredibly hands on – pushing him at every stage. They worked with him for hours and hours at home in an extremely strict style. When he didn’t reach his target on the memory section (memorising between 1 and 2 decks of cards), they admonished him and told him how disappointed they were with him, because they knew he could do better. They did this whilst ignoring the fact that he had actually memorised over 70 cards – one of the highest numbers in the group. He was bitterly upset and disappointed with himself. This did spur him on to try harder but he did so with a lot of stress and anxiety whilst they looked on with strict and sometimes crushing disapproval. They clearly adored and loved their son enormously, this was just how they thought he would achieve the most in life. Motivation pushed forward by the weight of their own hopes and dreams for him, mixed in with outright disappointment and disproval if he didn’t do as well as they thought he could. 

It was Sharon who won the competition in the end, but obviously both kids achieved some incredible things and proved their intelligence levels and abilities were well beyond that of most of the population, never mind children their own age. So both parenting styles worked in terms of what they achieved – however what I found interesting was that there are other things we should consider in this. Sharon achieved this feat happily and without too much stress (just a normal amount as is necessary to achieve anything you care about deeply – after all, complacency is the high achievers biggest enemy). Tudor on the other hand proved the same things but did so with stress, unhappiness and anxiety. He worked his way through the competition thinking he was constantly disappointing is parents (because he was) – they never once said they were proud of him or that he’d done enough – not until the very end. And of course lets not forget that it was Sharon who actually won (this girl has won over 50 trophies of some sort – all off her own steam without any pressure from her parents). They just seemed flummoxed by her drive but support her and encourage her on the way whilst telling her it’s OK to not win. So it just showed that self directed learning and parent directed learning can achieve greatness, but both of those things didn’t achieve happiness and flourishing and anxiety free learning….. which would I choose? well I think by now we know the answer to that given my hopes of ‘unschooling’ in the future. This isn’t to say what Tudor’s parents are doing is wrong, I wouldn’t ever do it myself, but I can’t deny their son is a high achiever. Also you never know what goes on behind closed doors. He could be the happiest most carefree little boy outside of that competition. But inside of it his stress and anxiety and the weight of his parents own hopes and dreams for him seemed to be crushing his wee spirit, and it made me sad.

Originally posted on ideas.ted.com:

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